you do you

I always have heard the phrase, “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself” and that overwhelmed me. I thought how or what do I create myself to be. As I continue to grow closer in my relationship with God, it has become evident to me that life is about discovering who God wants me to be, not who I want to be.

Recently, my devotional book (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) had this quote, “enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in God.” The past few weeks that has stuck with me. 

First off, the quote says enjoy meaning take pleasure in and have fun. Lately, I have been enjoying doing exciting things and trying new things. I am by no means saying I am “going crazy” or losing focus on my priorities, but I have just been trying to love life and all that God has to offer me. I’ve been trying to break the mold of you should dress like this, say these things, listen to this type of music, and step out of my box. Since doing this, I think I have become less judgmental. The last few weeks I have been loving learning about new things and meeting new people. While keeping in line with God’s word, I have been living the “you do you way” meaning live your life the way you feel God is leading you to. Don’t let society's stereotypes decide what you wear or what you like to do or who you hang out with.

Secondly it says, finding yourself through losing yourself which reminds me of the verse 2 Corinthians 5:17. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here.” God cleans, purifies, and makes our broken hearts new. To me, finding yourself through losing yourself is the perfect illustration of that. We can try finding ourselves through social media, our friends, school, or hobbies but to truly find yourself we need God.

I remember hearing someone say that when you do what you know God wants you to do, you will be the happiest. I honestly do believe that. I encourage you to focus on God and discover who He wants you to be. This has been my goal each day for the past few weeks and I can honestly say God’s peace and joy has been an overwhelmingly presence. I hope “you can do you” and experience God in a similar way.

important reminders

Have you ever had one of those days? Ya know, the days where you fail a test & end up balling your eyes out while sitting in your car. Okay, maybe that’s just me but I am sure we’ve all experienced some sort of (at the time seemingly) disastrous event. For me, many of these “disastrous” times are school related.

Last week, I was spending most of my time preparing for a big test. Countless hours studying and many cups of coffee later, I failed it. Yes, failed. 

Now looking back it, I see how I was overreacting but when I received my grade I was a mess, like sitting-in-my-car-ugly-crying a mess. 

That morning for some reason I decided to toss my bible in my backpack which isn’t something I usually do. While sitting in my car being a mess, I reached for my bible and desperately typed into Google “devotionals for when you fail a test.” To my surprise there were lots of results. I clicked on the first one (click here). This devotional was simple but exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

When my world is turned upside down I need to remember…

God loves me.

No matter what happens, God doesn’t love me any less.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that’s what we are! -1 John 3:1

God knows me better than you know myself.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is even formed on my tongue, you know if completely. -Psalm 139:1-4

God knows the future and He is in control of everything.

I need to trust that He knows what he is doing.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. -Psalm 139:16

God’s plans may be different from my plans
but God’s plans > my plans.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. -Proverbs 16:9

Many are the plans in a person’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21

God is more concerned with who we are than what we do.

God’s ultimate purpose for my life is for me to be more like Jesus. I cannot do that when I rest on others or academics for my self-esteem.

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. -Romans 8:28-29

There is nothing too big for God to deal with, so pray, and pray, and pray.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. -1 Peter 5:7

Whatever you may be going through this morning or this week or even this month, always remembered that God cares about YOU (yes, you who is reading this!) and whether we realize it or understand it, God does everything for our good. With that said, you go kick Monday morning's butt!

all we do is eat, eat, eat {weekend recap}

All we do is eat, eat, eat…  that’s the lyrics right? This weekend Macey (@ohmyprep) and I spent the weekend eating and laughing. I kid you not that pretty much all we did. We started out at Mr. Penguin for a sweet treat. I enjoyed the cookies & creme and Macey loved the sour green apple. 

Next, we lounged around in our pajamas and munched (more like devoured) on our favorite Boom Chicka Pop popcorn, mine being the kettle corn and hers being the white cheddar. Friday night was one of those lazy nights spent talking about everything under the moon and laughing so much that your stomach hurts! 

After sleeping in till noon (oops!), Macey and I got dressed in our favorite oversized tshirts and went to Daily Eats. Daily Eats is this super cute diner type of place. The french toast is to die for, so of course Macey and I both ordered it with strawberries and chocolate chips. 

No one loves dessert and big shirts more than us. I couldn’t ask for a better friend to spend my weekend pigging out with! Be sure to follow this sweet girl on Instagram @ohmyprep.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, check out my new All About Me and Contact Me pages at the top and comment below your favorite sweet treat!

get 'er done {my productivity tips}

You could say last night was one of those nights (slash mornings). You know, the ones were you spent hours with your nose in a book, your desk is scattered with a million sheets of paper, your anxiety is at an all time high, and your hours of sleep is at an all time low- the dread “all-nighter”. (And just to clarify, my definition of all-nighter means staying up till like 1am. I am not that pro!)

I have a weird schedule. Class three days a week, work one day a week, managing an online class, while still trying to fit in time for blogging, my quiet time with God, and fun with my friends and family. I am not writing this post to claim I have it all figured out when it  (because I don’t), but I wanted to share some of tips for the stressful times and how I deal with them.

Yesterday on my way home from work, I began to become so anxious about all that I needed to get done. It’s crazy to think but over the weekend I made a countdown to graduation (42 days!!) and wrote a to do list for each day. And I sure do have a lot to do!  Last night, I hunkered down and got yesterday's tasks done and here’s how:

{get focused}

When I am feeling stressed out, I have trouble focusing because I am preoccupied with how overwhelmed I feel. During times of high stress, I like to retreat to the library. Taking out the distraction of noise really helps me get focused and organize my thoughts. Prior to starting an assignment or a study sesh, I like to plan out what I need to do and how I plan on doing it whether it is making flashcards or rewriting notes or reading in the textbook.

{be equipped}

Trust me, this is one of the biggest ways I procrastinate. “Be right back got to get a pencil. Or oops I forgot an eraser. Looks like I need to go get a drink of water. Wait, I need more notecards.” Before sitting down, make sure you have anything and everything you may possibly need to complete the task so you do not have to keep getting up.

{stay focused}

After establishing what I need to get done, I need to stay focused and just do it. Sometimes I come up with a great study plan but never actually follow through with it because I get distracted (oops!). First off, put the phone away- whether its putting it in the other room, turning it off, or throwing it out the window. Next, crank the tunes. Everyone has there own opinions on music while studying. Once I am all set to start actually studying, I personally love some low-volume, instrumental music. My favorite is the deep-focus playlist on Spotify. 

{take productive breaks}

Another thing I am guilty of, studying for fifteen minutes then treating myself to an hour long study break - not such an efficient way to work. Last night on my desk, amongst my review sheet, textbook, flashcards, and planner, I had my bible. Never before have I combined study and my quiet time with God but I will being doing it this way from now on. Diving into God’s words during overwhelming times is crucial but sometimes the hardest. When I am stressed I feel like I don’t have time for God. Last night while on a study break, I read this verse and it sure was relevant. Even when I feel like life is crazy, I should take rest is knowing that God is there and everything will be okay.

Like I said, I may only have 42 days left of high school but those 42 days are going to be kicking my butt. I’m hoping to be able to get focused and stay focused all the way to graduation. Let me know if you found this post helpful and please share your study/productivity tips with me in the comments below or on Insta @MonogrammedMadison.

coffee shops & late night talks

Last night, a life long friend (like we go all the way back to elementary school) and I sat sipping iced coffee till Starbucks kicked us out. Unlike most of my time spent at Starbucks, last night did not consist of any textbooks or studying or gossiping about about petty drama. 

My friend confided in me that she is struggling with an eating disorder. After reading my story on my blog (click here to read), she said she felt that she could come to me with this. I could not be more honored that she felt this way. Also, I am SO happy she is reaching out for help. I think in any struggle, admitting you need help is the most difficult part.

We spent the night diving straight into the deep end. I told her about my experiences and shared with her things I’ve never told anyone. She also did the same.

After last night, I had a million things I wanted to share on my blog that my friend and I talked about (and there will probably be lots of upcoming posts regarding a variety of topics) but today I just wanted to remind everyone, myself included, that being a good friend is SO important. Friendship is a lot more than matching bracelets, doing fun things, and taking cute pictures. It’s about being there for someone when they need it or late night phone calls or encouraging them at their weakest times.

Lately, I have been feeling very lazy in my faith. I mean like skipping my quiet time, being at church but not being at church, and just not living passionately for Christ. As much as it breaks my heart that my friend is struggling with this, I see how God is using this situation for both of us. This has reignited my fire for Christ. I hope that talking about my experiences, mistakes, and lessons learned had a positive impact on my friend. I know it definitely encouraged me to stay focused on what is important. 

It truly is amazing how God puts each moment in each of our lives for a reason. It’s so easy to get caught up in “why is this happening to me” and lose sight of the big picture. Sometimes I question God as to why he would have allowed me to treat myself so poorly or I hesitate to blog and share so opening about my life, but without these things, moments like last night wouldn't have happened. 

I’m quickly learning that in life being honest and genuine go a long way. Not only does it allow you to be yourself, but it also encourages and can help those around you. I’ve learned that being an open-book doesn’t make you vulnerable, it makes you available. God wrote a story specially for you and how selfish is it to live out that story without sharing it with anyone. Even at a young age, we’ve all learned something and I don’t mean something like the fact that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Each of us have lived for some length of time and during those days, months, and years, we have had unique experiences, adventures, struggles, and joys. 

Let’s focus less on ourselves and make ourselves available to others. Lets live a life that has a positive impact on people. Let’s be that friend someone can always lean to. Let’s be honest. Let’s be genuine.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post. Unfortunately, I cannot grab coffee with each of my followers (mostly because that would be a lot plane tickets and I would pass out from a caffeine high), but if you would like to share anything with me, feel free to email me at monogrammedmadison@gmail.com and if you don’t already, follow me on Instagram to keep up with more of my adventures, @MonogrammedMadison.

let's be real

Today's post is titled, let's be real and today I want to do just that. I posted a picture on my Instagram (@monogrammedmadison) of myself just a few minutes after I woke up without makeup and without  brushing my hair.

Lately I have been receiving lots of sweet comments (which I really do appreciate) on my pictures about "how cute I am" or saying "you're gorgeous." I am in no way saying I do not appreciate these comments because I do and my followers are sweetest!

I just know that sometimes when I scroll through Instagram, I start to feel bad about myself or my life. It sounds so silly but it happens sometimes. My favorite type of blogs to read are lifestyle blogs where people share their lives. When reading lifestyle blogs, it can be easy to feel jealous or down about your own life. I know I feel this way sometimes. The purpose of this post is to bring awareness to this feeling. It does in fact exist and we should all guard ourselves from it. 

I hope that my blog inspires and encourages you to find the joy and explore what your life has to offer. I never post to try to make anyone feel bad about themselves. The intention behind my blog is to share things that make me happy, things that make me sad, and lessons I have learned in life. I try to be as real as possible.

The funny thing about social media is we think it's such an accurate representation of ourselves and our lives, when in reality, we only post on good hair days and when life is going good. Trust me when I say, I am not as put together all the time as it may seem by looking at my Instagram. You can just ask my friends, I send them some seriously terrifying snapchats and have been known to at least once leave the house without brushing my hair and rocking last nights pajamas. 

I have decided that I need to try to portray myself more accurately on social media, that includes sharing my bad hair days and no makeup selfies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these things, they are just as beautiful! One of my biggest fears of blogging is that I would make someone feel not good enough as a result of my pictures or posts. 

I hope all of my followers know just how beautiful they are (and yes that includes you!) Let's be real with each other and not let ourselves fall into the "not-feeling-good-about-ourselves-because-everyone-is-so-cute-on-Instagram" feeling. 

Be sure to follow more of my adventures on Instagram 

@MonogrammedMadison!

horsing around

My last day of spring break was spent horsing around. After church, my family and I head to the horse track. I mostly was excited to wear a Lilly dress and my monogrammed floppy hat for the first time this year but it turns out I really do love watching a good ole' horse race. 

Although I couldn't officially make any bets, I would pick my favorites before each race. I definitely did not get the "winning gene" that my dad has. He picked the trifecta in the first race!

 Maybe if I didn't pick the horses by cutest of their names
I would have better luck!

In between the races, I played with my precious cousin, Michael, who is six weeks old and more stylish that I ever will be. He rocks a bow tie better than any boy I know!

 Michael holding his winning tickets. Six months old and he's
already a track rat!

I couldn't have asked for a better last day of spring break. I am looking forward to many more sunny afternoons at the horse track. And hopefully my betting skills will improve by the time I turn 18 in just a few months!

{my tips} progress > perfection

{enjoying a simple breakfast with a side of blogging}

Lately, in my hometown, following a few shocking tragedies involving teenagers and suicide, there has been a lot of discussion about the pressure to be perfect. You know, the high expectations our parents, school, and we put on ourselves. There is the idea that if I can just do this or just be good enough everything will be okay. 

As more and more people around me are talking about this, I can’t help but think of my own experiences. If you did not know, I struggled with this pursuit to reach perfection in the form of an eating disorder. (Check out my story here). I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to prevent someone I know from feeling so hopeless they need to turn to self-harm or even suicide. I have been thinking about how to keep a balance between striving for success and pursuing perfection. 

For about two years or so, I have been recovered and through my recovery taught myself how to strive for success without feeling the need to be perfect. Today, I wanted to share a few of my thought processes and kind of how I stay motived to do well without slipping back into the race for perfection. I am by no means saying I have it all figured out and never struggle because I still do occasionally.

-Keeping the end in mind.

This is such a hard thing for me. I try to get myself to look more at the end picture and less at the pieces of today. When your taking that test, it seems like how you perform effects everything. Thinking like this causes a lot of stress and pressure which actually has negative effects on your performance. I try to keep things in perspective, will this change how next week goes? or next month? or next year? Surprisedly, most of the time the answer is no. 

-Enjoying life.

There is so much for to life than textbooks and training. A big part of my recovery was learning how to relax and take breaks. When everything you do is something productive, you get overwhelmed and start not being able to perform as well. The past few years, I have really come to appreciate and understand the need for rest. There is absolutely wrong with the occasional lazy day. 

-Focusing less on numbers.

This goes for everything, whether it be weight/eating or school or anything. Numbers can be haunting. When using numbers as a benchmark, it is easy to feel like a failure. I try to focus more on trying my best and accessing the outcome based on things other than numbers. This may sound foolish but it has really helped me. For example, I no longer weigh myself. I base my “fitnesses” on how I feel. 

I am not sure this post will be meaningful to everyone or even most people, but I just feel like these things needed to be said. We live in a world that can easily consume us with standards and expectations. It breaks my heart that these pressures can lead us to do some pretty terrible things. I hope that this post, even if it’s just for one person, shed some light into this overwhelming, stressful experience we call life. 

Ali & Datz

What isn’t to love about spending an afternoon with one of your favorite blogger friends, enjoying a delicious lunch, and fooling around behind the camera? Today, Ali (TheHappyPrepster) and I did just that. 

We first went to Datz for lunch, which is this super eclectic and super delicious restaurant. The place is adorable and I wish I had snapped a few pictures but I was too mesmerized by my ah-mazing sandwich. I order the Havana Hottie which is a twist on the classic Cuban sandwich. All of the sandwiches are served with their homemade sweet-n-salty kettle chips that are topped with a blue cheese dressing and green onions. It sounds like a strange combination but it was delicious!

After finishing up at Datz, Ali and I headed to take some pictures at the pier at Ballast Point. The view took my breathe away, like honestly it was so beautiful. Standing at the end of the pier you could see across the bay and the skyscrapers of downtown. 

Today, I was wearing this romper from Target. Being a tall girl, finding a romper that fits can be difficult but right now at Target, I found multiple rompers that fit me! I simply paired this romper with my gold leather Lilly Pulitzer cross body, my gold monogrammed necklace, and my navy and white Jack Rogers.

I couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon. I love that blogging brought Ali and I close. If you do not follow her on Instagram, you most definitely should!

spontaneous

Spontaneous. This is definitely not a word I would usually consider myself to be too fond of. I am the type of person who appreciates a well planned out day. Today, I learned that spontaneous can be fun. When living in the moment, there are no exceptions so it can be more fun.

This morning two of my friends and I packed up the car and drove two hours to Rainbow River for, what we thought, would be a lazy day spent floating down the river. After a hilarious road trip there, featuring lots of good music and iced coffee, we arrived at the river greeted with a closed gate that read “tube entrance closed for the season.” What?! It’s spring break how is that even possible.

Following a few moments of annoyance and frustration, we decided to drive ten minutes to the headsprings and eno. As bummed as I was that we couldn’t tube, I am always excited about lounging in my eno, especially when there is a pretty view. Of course, after we pay to enter, find the perfect spot to hang our enos, and beginning tying the straps, a park patrol officer comes and informs us that hanging things from trees is prohibited.  

Again another few moments of annoyance and frustration occurred. Like come on, we are just trying to enjoy spring break! We decided to eat the lunches with packed on a picnic table (rather than in our enos, sad face) and figure out what how we were going to make the most of this trip.

After being convinced (more like bribed) by my friend, we cannon balled from the dock into the freezing springs. I was hesitate to do so because 1.) the water is freezing, 2.) I didn’t want to get my hair wet, and 3.) I hate going underwater. Like the song says, sometimes you gotta keep your head up and you can let your hair down. That’s exactly what I did today. I let my hair done (literally and figuratively) and seized the day including all of its minor set backs. It ended up being such a fun day that I won’t forget for a long time.

I’m sure some of you are reading this and laughing. Yes, I know how my day was spent wouldn’t be considered spontaneous for most people but for me it was. I struggle when things don’t go exactly how I planned, but today I was reminded that sometimes living in the moment and making the best of your circumstances can be just as fun, if not more fun. Here’s to a spontaneous spring break that is (hopefully) filled with lots more memories, laughs, and suntans. 

For more of my adventures, follow me on Instagram @MonogrammedMadison